Beauty

There are times when I feel overwhelmed with the beauty of life. It’s everywhere when you look for it. And it’s real beauty, not what the media wants you to think is beautiful.

I am fully aware that there is an abundance of negativity out there, how can I not be with the constant bombardment of tragic news stories (because that’s what sells), and the incredibly well thought out comments on social media (and by well thought out, I mean NOT). There have been many times I’ve consider deleting my Facebook account because of the ugliness I see on it (don’t tell B, he’ll know he’s right). The hateful political comments, the judgmental digs on complete strangers…what happened to think before you speak? Or if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all? Or do unto others as you would have them do to you? There is still wisdom in these archaic ideals, people! Just because you have the right to free speech doesn’t mean you should ALWAYS use it! There is still something to be said about being slow to speak.

Before this turns into a “Can’t we all get along” speech, let me get back to my original thought. The beauty that overwhelms me…A child’s giggle when her mom bounces her daughter on her leg. The way a friend knows exactly what to say to make you feel better when you need it most. An ex-brother and sister-in-law that still and will always consider you family “no matter what”. A stranger giving you a complement while waiting in line for coffee. Making new friends you know you will be friends with for a long time no matter your differences. The love of your life looking over at you to just look at you because he loves the way you look. Your teenage son who doesn’t go a day without tell you how much he loves you accompanied with a hug an kiss. The parents who will do everything they can to help you out even though you are not their responsibility and you didn’t ask them.

If you haven’t recognized the pattern yet, let me spell it out. Beauty is in RELATIONSHIPS.

I know that I am not always the best friend. I forget birthdays and anniversaries. I may not call for a few months or return Facebook messages right away. But I do love my family & friends and I think they know I am there for them when it counts most. Friendship a quality I continue to re-assess and work on. It’s a quality I fear most people don’t really consider too much. I am urging you to consider it. I believe you can be the overwhelming beauty in another person’s life!

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A New Job and A Wedding (not mine)

It has officially been a week since I started my new job so I thought I’d share my first impressions with anyone who might be interested. Besides the fact that I get to work in the same building as one of my very best friends, thus having a lunch buddy most days, I am actually enjoying work at a huge company. I wasn’t sure I would as I have mostly worked at medium to small sized companies, but there are many amenities a larger company can offer. For instance, there is a different restaurant that brings food for purchase every day of the week, so you don’t have to leave the building. There is also a parking garage that keeps my car cool during the day so that I am not scorched when I leave work. There are elevators for ones convenience although I take the stairs to avoid that dizzy feeling I get in elevators. And there are vending machines on every floor!

Ah, but these are just the little things (having my BF there is not a little thing, for the record, just everything else I wrote about). The best parts of my job are not having to answer the phone and being able to complete a task without being interrupted. Listing to my music (instead of the classical station ALL DAY LONG) or podcasts with the use of ear buds, effectively creating the “my own little world” effect (LOVE this). And for the administrative part of my brain, I get to sort and organize docs all day long. Sigh! I guess you could say, “So far, so good.” I am curious though about the end of the year when my contract is up and what my journey will look like then. But I am REALLY trying to stay in the now.

I briefly mentioned my friend Leslie’s wedding last week but I want to take some time to GUSH all about it. It was beautiful, warm, colorful, fun and delicious! Everything seemed to go as planned. B and I had the privilege of shooting the wedding and got to witness the inner workings. I have a new appreciation for the assembly of a Saree. It’s amazing how quickly and efficiently the women that outfitted Leslie were at making a beautifully designed dress out of one LARGE piece of intricately decorated fabric and safety pins. In a hotel room filled with 12-15 people you could have heard one of those many safety pins drop. Everyone was mesmerized by the process. In the end, Leslie looked like a goddess!

And what better location for a goddess than a museum! The NC Museum of Art to be exact. The intimate ceremony took place in one of the gardens outside the museum with just the immediate families present and included a “ring warming” (which I loved). The party that ensued not long after included a wonderful pallet of tastes, colorful garments and lively music EVERYONE could dance to  (Drummers accompanied the DJ = WOW!). However, it was the people who attended and the two amazing people we were there to honor, that made the wedding what it was. AWESOME! Now, to capture all that in a 6-10 minute video…shoo, B has his work cut out for him!

L&V back

Excuses, Excuses!

I’ve been pretty darn happy with myself for getting a post out every week until last week happened. I went back on my word to myself and anyone else that cares. I would normally blame my laziness for missing a week’s post, but that wasn’t it at all. On the contrary. I was too busy last week. It wasn’t a bad busy, just one that kept me from writing because by the time I’d sat down at my computer my mind was numb with exhaustion. What was keeping me so busy that I couldn’t share even a few hundred words with my favorite people? (Meaning you of course.) Here is a peek at my week and my main reasons for the neglect:

Friday: Worked my second job
Saturday: Full Frame Film Festival
Sunday: Food shopped, Cleaned the house, Arbonne spa party at my house
Monday: Frightened Rabbit concert
Tuesday through Thursday: Being a Mom in the evenings
Friday: Worked my second job
Saturday: Yard work, Food shopped, Finished taxes, Cleaned, took the kids to the park
Sunday: Church, worked my Origami Owl business

I didn’t add my full time job, but you get the picture.

I wish I could say these are the ONLY reasons, but alas, there’s more. Truth is I’ve been a bit unmotivated about writing lately. I feel stuck in a rut and I’ve been trying to find my way out. I’ve got nothing so far. When I started this blog I had a clear vision for it that has gotten blurry. It isn’t like I have one specified subject I write about. I have visited plenty of successful blogs that specialize in weddings, or parenting, or fashion…etc. You know what you’re going to get when you visit these sights. I’ve written about all of the above, minus the wedding stuff, plus divorce and relationships. I’m all over the place! My goal is to come up with a unified theme that will encompass all of life while still focusing on one main idea. Please be patient with me as I work through this and regain my vision.

Step one: Go back to the beginning.
When I remember where my heart was at the  start of this blog  my desire was to share my experiences with others in the slight chance that anything I’ve learned might help someone else. That includes surviving a divorce, discovering who I am and liking myself again (or possibly for the first time), understanding the meaning and impact of friendship, adjusting to single parenthood and finding true love. I wanted to be an encouraging voice rather than adding to the abundance of negativity out there.

Step two: Evaluate the title.
Why “Unforgettably Ordinary”? In my self-discovery I learned that although I’ve ALWAYS felt ordinary and talent-less, I have some really great qualities. In the right environment those qualities flourish and become extraordinary making me unforgettable (or at least I hope so). I’m not tooting my own horn here. I believe this can be true for EVERYONE. I wanted to be able to help others discover what makes them extraordinary.

I can’t believe I used the term “tooting my own horn”!

Step three: Think.
Now I need to take some time and think about where to go from here. Do I set a monthly topic to discuss? Do I continue all willy nilly and go with the flow? Do I only focus on one of the above mentioned topics from here on out? How do I get my lovely readers commenting and submitting their own stories?* etc. etc.

I will keep you up to date on the result of all the hard thinking I’ll be doing this week.

AND while I am being so vulnerable, there is one other tiny little confession I need to make. I do have one more reason for not writing…Candy Crush Saga! There! I said it. I’m addicted!

*As my statement suggests, I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on all this? Please feel free to leave a comment below. If you are more comfortable with email, please email me at unfogettablyordinary@gmail.com. 

The Dead Thing

I started a new job about 3 months ago. It’s a good job but there have been  things I’ve had to get used to. For instance  I haven’t had a job that requires I dress professionally in…maybe ever (at the most it’s been business causal). My employers dress in suits on a daily basis setting the bar high. Thankfully I’ve had friends with great taste pass things down to me over the years so I didn’t have to go out and buy a new wardrobe (Yay for free clothing! and friends!). I’ve also never worked in an office of all men before; three serious men with little time for chit chat, which is understandable given the nature of their business. My background consists of mostly non-profit and human service experience, meaning I’ve had the pleasure of working with a diverse group of people at any given time with conversation a plenty! Suffice it to say, my experience here has been a lonely one until…

Enter “The Smell”. It started faintly enough. My super mom sense of smell picked up on it first. “Do you smell that?” I asked the least serious of the three. He replies, ” I thought I smelled something, but I must have gotten used to it.”

Day two: The smell is still present. It’s gone from “Did I really smell something?” to “Yup, there is definitely a stinky source and we need to find it pronto.” So I addressed the only other female in the office, Miss Intern, who is here very part time (not enough for organic female bonding to occur). Together we ruled out the garbage as the culprit. Maybe something in the walls?

Day three: It’s getting serious. One of the bosses has also detected the small, and you know it has to be bad if a man with allergies can smell it. After speculations of what may have died and where, there is some joking about who done it. Yes, I did say joking! And kidding! The first sign of life.

My boss instructs me to call Critter Control.

Day four: Critter Control can’t find the source, but it’s confirmed…it a dead something, and we have mice. Not inside the building, just under it. There is more discussion around the copier (we don’t have a water cooler). More laughs and pleasantries shared.

Several days later there is still no solution and the stink lingers, but that stink has been able to do something I didn’t think was possible. It created a pseudo bonding experience. It reassured me that humor does exist in my office. It allowed for free flowing conversation (for a few days at least). It gave me hope that I may again laugh while I work one day. My dear Dead Thing, you did not die in vain!

Put Your Spouse First, But Keep Your Girlfriends Close!

I am honored yet again to have a dear friend featured as a guest blogger. Today I welcome Erin, an amazing friend, mother of  four (2 of her own and two step-children), and wife to one of our courageous military personnel.  While these are all noteworthy hats she wears, they do not describe her nearly well enough. She is an intelligent, self motivated, no Bull Sh*t having, wise-in-her-young-age woman. And since she is so wise, I strongly suggest you soak in this bit of wisdom she wanted to share with us…

The beginning of a new relationship is nirvana. You are happy, always smiling, and always craving the presence of the other person. He overtakes your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. New love is so blissful and the desire to be with that other person is almost like needing air.

Sometimes your work suffers a bit while your head is in the clouds. You may gain some (or a lot)  “happy weight”, and many times your family and even girlfriends fall to the wayside. It’s totally understandable, we get it, all you want to do is spend every free minute with HIM. Sure, you still chat with your girls every now and again, but who has time when you’re busy talking to HIM til the wee hours in the morning if you’re not together?

Time moves forward an you finally marry Mr. Right, have a baby or two, and then what? You absolutely NEED TO GET AWAY from your chaotic home and be YOU! You need to be with your girlfriends. Your girls are the ones you can compare relationship notes with and share parenting ideas. Your girls are the ones who tell you that wanting a break from the husband and kids is normal and okay. They are the ones that make you feel like the last 10 pounds of the baby weight REALLY may take longer than one year to lose – if ever (but who cares because you look GORGEOUS, Darling).

Being with your own “kind” helps you feel like a real person again – an individual not just wife or mom. I’m ME –just like I was before the family. I love to laugh and talk smack with my girls. I love to talk about how hard it is to balance work and family and how I just cannot find the time to go to the gym without missing out on time with my kids after work. I love being able to talk about “am I a bad mom for doing this or not doing that?” I love to know that even though we are different women, we all go through the same things.

Having the actual time to get together can definitely become an issue, but once we are together, I cherish our time. Sometimes we all talk at once, or there are many conversations going on at the same time. Other times we take turns sharing our lives with each other. Whatever the case, these are the moments I wish I had more of. Getting the girls together is good for our souls. It keeps us bonded as friends and as women. It is a source of encouragement and support beyond compare. It is something that should NEVER be taken for granted, because let’s face it, finding real friends is harder to do as you get older.

I truly love the women in my life. I have learned to let some relationships go for certain reasons, but the ones I hang on to are because these women enrich my life- not just fill space. I don’t know what I’d do without them and hope that I’m as good of a friend to them as they are to me.

**Editors Note: I can attest the the fact that Erin is a great friend. Having had the opportunity to spend time with my girlfriends a bit more the last couple of months (to the great disappointment of my youngest son), I wonder how I go so long in between “Girls Nights”. I always walk away feeling a sense of affirmation that I don’t get anywhere else. There is just no replacement. Thank you, Erin, for reminding us of that.