Put Your Spouse First, But Keep Your Girlfriends Close!

I am honored yet again to have a dear friend featured as a guest blogger. Today I welcome Erin, an amazing friend, mother of  four (2 of her own and two step-children), and wife to one of our courageous military personnel.  While these are all noteworthy hats she wears, they do not describe her nearly well enough. She is an intelligent, self motivated, no Bull Sh*t having, wise-in-her-young-age woman. And since she is so wise, I strongly suggest you soak in this bit of wisdom she wanted to share with us…

The beginning of a new relationship is nirvana. You are happy, always smiling, and always craving the presence of the other person. He overtakes your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. New love is so blissful and the desire to be with that other person is almost like needing air.

Sometimes your work suffers a bit while your head is in the clouds. You may gain some (or a lot)  “happy weight”, and many times your family and even girlfriends fall to the wayside. It’s totally understandable, we get it, all you want to do is spend every free minute with HIM. Sure, you still chat with your girls every now and again, but who has time when you’re busy talking to HIM til the wee hours in the morning if you’re not together?

Time moves forward an you finally marry Mr. Right, have a baby or two, and then what? You absolutely NEED TO GET AWAY from your chaotic home and be YOU! You need to be with your girlfriends. Your girls are the ones you can compare relationship notes with and share parenting ideas. Your girls are the ones who tell you that wanting a break from the husband and kids is normal and okay. They are the ones that make you feel like the last 10 pounds of the baby weight REALLY may take longer than one year to lose – if ever (but who cares because you look GORGEOUS, Darling).

Being with your own “kind” helps you feel like a real person again – an individual not just wife or mom. I’m ME –just like I was before the family. I love to laugh and talk smack with my girls. I love to talk about how hard it is to balance work and family and how I just cannot find the time to go to the gym without missing out on time with my kids after work. I love being able to talk about “am I a bad mom for doing this or not doing that?” I love to know that even though we are different women, we all go through the same things.

Having the actual time to get together can definitely become an issue, but once we are together, I cherish our time. Sometimes we all talk at once, or there are many conversations going on at the same time. Other times we take turns sharing our lives with each other. Whatever the case, these are the moments I wish I had more of. Getting the girls together is good for our souls. It keeps us bonded as friends and as women. It is a source of encouragement and support beyond compare. It is something that should NEVER be taken for granted, because let’s face it, finding real friends is harder to do as you get older.

I truly love the women in my life. I have learned to let some relationships go for certain reasons, but the ones I hang on to are because these women enrich my life- not just fill space. I don’t know what I’d do without them and hope that I’m as good of a friend to them as they are to me.

**Editors Note: I can attest the the fact that Erin is a great friend. Having had the opportunity to spend time with my girlfriends a bit more the last couple of months (to the great disappointment of my youngest son), I wonder how I go so long in between “Girls Nights”. I always walk away feeling a sense of affirmation that I don’t get anywhere else. There is just no replacement. Thank you, Erin, for reminding us of that.


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