My house sold today!
This one statement is the air horn signaling the end of an excruciatingly LONG chapter of my life. The kind of chapter you keep trudging through to get to the good stuff, no matter how tempted you might be to put the book down never to pick it up again, because you just know it has to get better. And while my inner self is screaming “GGGGOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL” and doing a happy dance, my heart is a mite bit heavier. Could it be because there were a lot of great memories in that house? Or because it was the only house my boys really remember and identified as home? Maybe it’s the failure of not being able to pay a debt in full that’s bothering me. The more I try to put my finger on it the more I believe the real reason for the weight I feel is the unfulfilled dreams I had for that home and what my life should have been in it (which in a way encompasses all the above).
Three years after my separation and subsequent divorce, there are still things to be mourned. I don’t think I was expecting that. Please do not mistake that to mean I want that life back. NOT IN THE LEAST. I’m the healthiest, happiest me I’ve ever been and the relationship I’m in now is a gazillion time better! But this is me we’re talking about and any deviation from a plan I have in my head upsets the balance (and I HATE having my balance upset!).
On the bright side I no longer have to worry about the plumbing backing up thanks to the nice tree root growing in the pipes, or the HVAC going kaputz since the poor this is 22 years old, or the leaky roof on the sun room, or yard work! And the best part about it is the person who bought the house wants to take care of all those things and has the skills to make that house into what it deserves. So I guess in the end it’s a win win. Oh, and I finally learned where the landfill is and how convenient it is to recycle paint, computer parts and EVERYTHING else you can think of there. They even have wood pallet recycling and you can TAKE wood pallets from there too! (see exhibit A to see why this is so exciting to me)
EXHIBIT A: Our Headboard
All in all, it is a relief to have passed the dreams of what that house could be to someone else. I just wish I could see the results.