There are people who hate change. There is a comfort in things staying the same. Knowing what to expect. Nothing to adjust to and no surprises. There have been times in my life when change has caused severe anxiety so I can relate to the notion of hating change. But true to my character I can see the other side as well, the excitement in change. All the possible opportunities, adventures and growth available. The more comfortable I get with myself the more comfortable I get with my ability to accept and deal with change in a positive way. That’s why my next step isn’t wrought with fear, but rather filled with a sense of excitement.
I quit my job last week. Actually, I gave my 2 week notice. It was a very hard thing to do because while I may not hate change, I HATE confrontation. I was a mess that day. My heart raced way more than it should in a 24 hour period and I felt nauseous. I only ate 2 out of my usual 4 small meals of the day. (For anyone that’s ever worked with me you know that’s HUGE). I don’t know what I expected, maybe anger or disappointment. I had no need to worry. Both my bosses accepted my resignation gracefully. Phew.
I accepted a position at a larger company doing something I’m not sure I’ll enjoy that pays pretty much the same as I’ve been making. So where’s the excitement in that? It’s in working with new people, and learning new software, and finding out if I’m good at Loan Processing and having a little flexibility with my schedule. It’s in knowing that this is only a year contract and I may or may not have another job by then. It’s in the hope that in a year it won’t matter if I have a job or not because my business with B will be flourishing by then and bring me home. It’s in the many many possibilities that may come out of this change in my life right now and I am absolutely excited, and nervous, and curious and anxious to get started!